Hey there, puddins! Ever wonder how ta get that crush a’yers ta notice ya? Or how ta get yer folks off yer back? Or how ta make the best breakfast sammich ever?! Harley Quinn here to give you all the AMAZIN’ advice y’been searchin’ for all yer dumbass lives – with the help of my good pals (and the writers of my bestselling comic book) Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti! So go ahead an’ spill all a’ yer troubles in my ongoing Community thread, and maybe I’ll answer YOUR question next in this weekly column. Now let’s see what folks are askin’ this week…
SILENCE YOUR INNER SABOTEUR
Matt, I have a lot of voices going ‘round my coconut at all times, so I understand an’ at the same time am jealous that you only have one voice. I think the voice addressing you might be the voice of insecurity. I’m pretty sure it would take a lot of hard work on anyone’s part to have EVERYONE hate them. Even Hitler’s dog loved him at dinner time, ya know?
I’m pretty sure it’s just the self-doubt an’ insecurity, something we all deal with, no matter how popular we are. Ever listen to a movie star that’s stunning pick on a feature of theirs they hate? It happens every time an’ very human. If this feeling is constant, then maybe we dig deeper into the cause. Social interaction is a tricky mine fiend, an’ these feelings might be a direct reaction to your own anxiety and low self-esteem. It might even stem from a past relationship and we can reach further into my medical journal and say it could be a chemical thing or even a mental health issue. No matter, you asked how to get it to shut up and really, in order to stop that voice, we have to take a good look at ourselves and try to work through these feelings of distrust and anxiety. Try a couple of these things. Look at a situation from another’s perspective or try to reframe the situation objectively. Look deeper and trying to stop determining what ya’ think others are thinking. A big part of all of this is slowing down and without a panic mind, taking a clear an’ focused picture of what is really going on and what you are assuming. I find talking to a close friend helps as well. We all have these feelings and it’s up to us to determine the source. That, and High School can be brutal, so cut yourself some slack.
JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
Isn’t about every other rom-com about this kind of behavior on some level until one person gives in an’ chases the other to the airport for a last-ditch confession their love? Well, movies are not real, so ignore them. This might be someone infatuated with you and hopefully not a full-time stalker, like my lovely Redtool. The difference is we have a set of boundaries we keep in place, so all is good between us. Now to your problem.
This is a tough question an’ my response is limited because I don’t know the both of you, so I will be as basic as possible with my initial advice. If you were clear with him face to face when voicing how you felt, I’m guessing the message delivery might have been flawed, or not listened to on his end. Quite possible he just doesn’t want to hear it as well. Maybe some more time talking one –on-one is needed and while this conversation goes down make sure you give them a chance to talk and try to explain your situation in a way that they can understand. This is also about boundaries an’ people crossing them.
If they still are not listening to you, change your name and move to another country.
GO THE SOCIAL DISTANCE
Good for you. Having a lovely furry friend by your side is the best medicine ever. Like you, I have been socially distancing myself and the first few days I have been catching up on reading my comics and any books I ‘ve not touched in a while. Another fun thing is I have been video chatting with my parents in Florida every day. Mostly I’m yelling at them to stop going outside and standing in line 2 inches from the other person at the super market. When did I become the damn parent?
Anyway, I also been calling my single friends an’ chatting about things , you know, catching up. They are in the same boat as me, so a friendly voice is always needed. Since I eat about 6 times a day, I have also been cooking myself meals an’ freezing them for later days. I gotta tell you, with all the pasta I’m chowin’ down, my buttcheeks are the size of…wait, is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them? Anyway, outside of cooking and reading and reaching out, I just rented on VOD the Birds of Prey movie and have been watching it over and over. I have to say, I am pretty amazing on the big screen. I just wish they cut that scene where I threw up in that girl’s handbag in the bar. Not one of my finest moments.
Where were we....oh yeah, , Free time. So, movies, TV, books, comics, drawing comics, cooking, eating, reaching out, ordering take out, phoning in my comic order to my local comic shop, …and last, I’ve cleaned the hell out of my apartment and bagged all the things I don’t need anymore an’ I’m gonna give them all to charity. So yeah, there is a lot to do. Use your imagination. Hang in there, this all will pass.
FEEL THE BERNIE
How others describe you is on them an’ not your problem. Just be true to yourself an’ have integrity in all you do an’ these voices will matter less and less each time. Embrace life to the fullest and go play with your beaver if you have one like me. Playin’ with Bernie keeps me sane.
TIME IS THE BEST MEDICINE
I think if we got a problem finding the right words to explain ourselves, it might be beneficial for you to compose a letter that is well thought out, clear of intent, and gives the information you would like to get across to your friend. As well, end the letter with a “if you would like to discuss this more, please, let’s meet and talk in person”.
I remember I had Ivy upset at me because of a thing I did to get us more time alone together an’ she was pissed because I didn’t wanna talk to her about it at the time, so I just assumed it would be okay. I learned later it wasn’t. I screwed up, but my heart was in the right place, so I just needed to be clear to her about the “why” of what I did an’ a letter really helped this. If your friend is still weird after, wait a bit.
Sometimes time is the best medicine, besides chocolate layer cake with whip cream and cherries.
AVAILABLE NOW ON DEMAND!
How do I feel you ask? Seriously? I am over the moon with happiness!
I’m super excited it’s now available on VOD so everyone can see how breathtaking I am in their very home. I thought I was pretty amazing playing myself, an’ just about every other person in the film were perfectly cast. Great script an’ amazing direction, but it would have been much better if it was about 4 hours longer, don’t ya think? Then they could have given Bernie the beaver a bigger part, worked in my Gang of Harleys an’ given Redtool and Big Tony some screen time. So, yea, I friggin’ loved it as is and hope to see another soon.
And to those that were saying negative comments about the film without actually seeing it…kiss my shine white ass! Must suck to be you.
SALUTATIONS AND GREETINGS!
Dear Fiodor Bedlam,
Screw you for using my very own scam letter on me! How lazy can one be? Well, I got some bad news for you. Right now, as we speak, I got my buddy Coach from the Gang of Harleys tracking down your unique lame-ass digital signature and we’re close to nailing your home address and me making a special introduction of my mallet to your pasty scamming’ ass. If I were you, which thank God, I’m not, I would be making out my will.
Sincerely not yours,