Hey there, puddins! Ever wonder how ta get that crush a’yers ta notice ya? Or how ta get yer folks off yer back? Or how ta make the best breakfast sammich ever?! Harley Quinn here to give you all the AMAZIN’ advice y’been searchin’ for all yer dumbass lives – with the help of my good pals (and the writers of my bestselling comic book) Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti! So go ahead an’ spill all a’ yer troubles in my ongoing Community thread, and maybe I’ll answer YOUR question next in this weekly column. Now let’s see what folks are askin’ this week…
DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER
You’re asking me? You must really be desperate! As you know, I sometimes have the same problem an’ as expected, it gets me into a boatload of trouble each and every time. I get how ya feel, but as a wise man once said throwing the first punch is a sure sign you just lost the argument. I know this because I lost more arguments then anyone.
I think the key is slowing things down when you find yourself in a troublesome situation and take time to breath - find your calm. Try to look at what causes the fists to fly in the first place an’ try to recognize if there’s an obvious pattern to what triggers this. The trigger may be the key with this occurrence. Next time, try to not engage and if you can’t have a civil conversation and feel your temper building, simply walk away. Avoiding these situations means you have identified what bring out this behavior – so remember, walking away isn’t quitting or giving up, its understanding that things might go to a dark place and you are refusing to engage in them. That is how one wins!
I find it’s easier to give advice than follow it, otherwise my adventures would read like a stuffy English drama. Follow my advice, but sweetie, never what I do. Remember, I get in all sorts of trouble to amuse you, but in reality, it’s not supposed to inspire, just entertain. So, slow down, act with integrity and notice the patterns. Feelings are not things.
If all this doesn’t work, go take a cold shower. That works for me as well.
POLITICS AS USUAL
Oh Sweetie, Politics are always open to debate and all about the lens which each person views something. Following them can give anyone a friggin’ headache and I try to keep myself and my opinions of things in the middle to keep myself sane, so I know exactly what you’re going through. The world’s always scary on some level, but lately the needle has been pushed to the edge and, yeah, I totally relate to what you are feeling. For me, I just turn off the news and try reading the news instead. There is less doom and gloom and shiny spinning graphics and I can absorb the information at my own speed instead of getting it shoved down my hole by snappy plastic news people. Try giving yourself a bit of a break from the negative and once or twice a day see what is working for you, what is great, and what is beautiful in the world around you. Understand that these things are happening every minute of the day, co-existing with the scary stuff.
The news makes money getting viewers to watch them so they push an agenda that seems to suggest if you aren’t watching them, something bad is gonna happen to you, but it’s a false narrative. Stay informed, but do not live in fear. Knowledge is power and can squash chaos.
Now, my suggestions for things to do are easy ones. Read a comic book. Text a relative or friend. Get that camera out and facetime a good friend that makes you laugh and spend some time, because odds are, they are as bored and scared as you. Make yourself a nice dinner, exercise, take a long bath, play with a pet, play a video game like Injustice and so on. Last, meditation is a great thing to learn. Go on youtube- there are tons of people teaching classes and take one. Our lives have been so busy, so turn this to the positive and give yourself a break and smile.
COMMENCEMENT FOR ONE
Simply put, you been robbed! Maybe when all this passes you get your friends together and give yourself a prom, graduation and toilet paper something. Doesn’t matter it’s the year after school ended, you deserve a proper exit.
Look, everything is upside down, so why not just make your own rules. You seniors are supposed to be creative, so get busy and start making plans. Till then keep studying and hitting the books, mainly because no one is getting any smarter without them.