Do you ever want to look one of your friends in the eye and tell them, “He’s just not that into you”? We’ve all been there, seeing a good friend throw their life away on some partner who doesn’t treat them right. Take Harley Quinn for instance. Although she’s a fictional character, fans have been rooting for her to get out from under the Joker’s shadow ever since her Batman: The Animated Series debut in 1992's “The Joker’s Favor.” Harley….girl….honey, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. In fact, Harley's caught the eye of more than a few nutty suitors over the years. And rumor has it she'll finally be kicking the Joker to the curb in the upcoming Harley Quinn animated series. So let’s open up her little black book to see what the former Dr. Harleen Quinzel's dating prospects are...
Boyfriend Bio: Not much is known about Josh, including his last name, making him a real man of mystery. Readers met him during the “No Man’s Land” storyline where Gotham was a post-apocalyptic wasteland cut off from the government. Since society had crumbled and everyone lost their original status, all we knew about Josh’s background is that he went to school to become a cartoonist.
Meet Cute: Josh entered Harley’s life when the Joker found him in an abandoned building. Josh offered himself up as a henchmen for Mister J, which is a smart way to stay alive. You know what’s not so smart? HITTING ON THE JOKER’S GIRLFRIEND! Once Joker’s back was turned, Josh made his move on Harley! Dude, her boyfriend is a homicidal killer, you’re playing with fire here!
Endgame or Endshame?: Josh had boundary issues, and wasn’t good at taking no for an answer. Regardless of those issues, the Joker blew him up, so it’s safe to say Harley and him won’t be having any romantic rendezvous anytime soon.
Boyfriend Bio: Red Tool is a parody of a talkative red suited mercenary from another marvelous franchise. He was once a soldier, until a super-powered syndrome gave him extra special gifts and took away his ability to feel pain. The only thing that can hurt Red Tool now is a broken heart, which is where Harley comes in.
Meet Cute: Red Tool had a longtime crush on Harley, and he kidnapped her for their first date. If you think that’s coming on a little strong, he also left her his phone number by TATTOOING IT ON HER BUTT WHILE SHE WAS UNCONCIOUS! For their second date, he lured her to a chapel where he had a wedding prepared for them. Awkward!
Recommended Reading: 2016’s Harley Quinn #26-28
Endgame or Endshame?: Red Tool is a crazy lunatic, which should only make him more suited for Harley. Despite that, Harley feels that he’s a bit too screwy for her tastes. When you’re too insane for the Lady of Lunacy herself, then you know there’s some serious issues to resolve!
TOMMY ELLIOT DISGUISED AS BRUCE WAYNE
Boyfriend Bio: Tommy Elliot was a childhood friend of Bruce Wayne who was a bit twisted. He grew to resent Bruce and became the criminal mastermind known as Hush. His rivalry with Batman took a twisted turn when Tommy got plastic surgery to make his face look like Bruce Wayne’s.
Meet Cute: While disguised as Bruce Wayne, Tommy was ambushed by a group of criminals. Harley saved his life, and Tommy (still disguised as Bruce) decided to toy with Selina Kyle by publicly dating Harley. Thinking that she was dating the real Bruce, Harley dreamed of inheriting his fortune and living in his mansion, while Tommy sought to kill her when the time was right. Isn’t love grand?
Recommended Reading: Gotham City Sirens #2-4
Endgame or Endshame?: Tommy tried to kill Harley on their first date. Even the Joker waited until the fifth date to try something like that. Hard pass.
Boyfriend Bio: Dick Grayson was a young circus acrobat who became Batman’s partner after the murder of his parents. After spending years as Robin the Boy Wonder, Dick graduated into his own identity as Nightwing. Batman taught him to be prepared for anything – except a “heat of the moment” hookup with Harley Quinn.
Meet Cute: Nightwing is Batman’s partner, and Harley is the Joker’s partner. Since their respective buddies have their 80 year war going on, Dick and Harley crossed paths on a regular basis. Things really heated up in the 2017 animated movie Batman and Harley Quinn when Dick went to track down Harley, hoping she could help him locate Poison Ivy. Harley got the drop on Nightwing, and tied him up in her apartment. From there things got – interesting. Dick began to see Harley in a new light, and the Lady of Lunacy couldn’t resist the urge to have some fun with the former Boy Wonder.
Endgame or Endshame?: While Nightwing would probably be a good influence on her, nothing good could come of this relationship. Can you imagine Dick bringing Harley to Wayne Manor for Thanksgiving dinner? Or Dick and Harley socializing with her Arkham friends? This is one of those one night stands that doesn’t need an encore.
Girlfriend Bio: Pamela Isley was a woman who loved plants more than her fellow humans. After her college professor injected her with some toxins, Isley developed a special immunity to poisons and a symbiotic relationship with plant life. There’s no point in returning to class after your professor drugs you, so Isley decided to adopt a criminal career as the eco-terrorist Poison Ivy.
Meet Cute: The duo first crossed paths in the Batman: The Animated Series episode “Harley and Ivy” after one of Harley and Joker’s many breakups. Ivy decided to take Harley under her wing, and an epic partnership was born. The first hint that their relationship was more than “just friends” occurred in The Batgirl Adventures #1 but their romance was not confirmed as canon until 2015 when Harley Quinn writers Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti spilled the beans during an official DC twitter AMA. The couple later shared their first on-panel kiss in 2017’s Harley Quinn #25.
Recommended Reading: 2018’s Batman #43 is one of the most tender looks at their relationship yet.
Endgame or Endshame?: Call us crazy, but this one might actually work. Not only is Ivy one of the few people who have been able to snap Harley out of her Joker lovecloud, but Harley is also the only person who can get through to Ivy and stop her from committing planetwide genocide. They may be a bit nutty, but they both bring out the best in each other. Forget Mister J, we stan this couple hardcore and ship them.